How Therapy Can Help You Strengthen Relationships as an Autistic Adult
Navigating relationships—whether with friends, family, or romantic partners—can be challenging, especially when things like communication and self-advocacy skills don’t come easily to you. Many autistic adults find themselves feeling misunderstood, struggling to express their needs, or unsure how to navigate social expectations. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and therapy can be a valuable tool in helping you build stronger, healthier relationships while honoring your authentic self.
How Can Therapy Help Me?
Unlike the “one-size-fits-all” approach that many autistic people have encountered in traditional settings, therapy can be personalized to meet your unique needs and relationship goals. It’s not about changing who you are—it’s about finding ways to communicate and connect in ways that feel right for you.
Common Autistic Relationship Struggles
Many autistic folks experience relationship difficulties that stem from misunderstandings, differing communication styles, or difficulty advocating for their needs. Here’s how therapy can help:
Communication Breakdowns: If conversations often leave you feeling unheard or misunderstood, therapy can help you develop strategies to express your thoughts clearly and navigate different communication styles.
Self-Advocacy: Learning how to set boundaries and ask for what you need in a relationship can be huge. Therapy provides a safe space to practice self-advocacy skills without fear of rejection or judgment.
Managing Social Exhaustion: If social interactions leave you drained, therapy can help you develop ways to engage that feel sustainable and authentic, rather than forced or overwhelming.
Understanding Social Nuances: Many autistic adults struggle with unspoken social rules. Therapy can help break down these expectations and explore which ones align with your values versus those you may choose to disengage from.
Healing from Past Relationship Trauma: If past experiences have left you feeling uneasy in relationships, therapy can help you process those emotions and build trust in a way that feels safe for you.
The Benefits of Therapy for Autistic Adults
Therapy is not about teaching you how to mask yourself—it’s about helping you build relationships that allow you to be yourself. Some of the benefits include:
Increased Self-Awareness: Understanding your own communication and sensory needs can make interactions more fulfilling and less stressful.
More Fulfilling Relationships: With improved communication and self-advocacy skills, you can build relationships that are supportive, reciprocal, and genuinely enjoyable.
Reduced Anxiety Around Social Situations: When you have tools that work for you, social interactions can feel less overwhelming.
A Greater Sense of Confidence: Feeling secure in your relationships and knowing how to express yourself can significantly boost self-esteem.
Ready to Strengthen Your Relationships?
If you’ve been struggling with relationships and want support tailored to your unique needs, I’d love to help. Therapy can provide you with the tools and confidence to build connections that feel safe and fulfilling.
If you’re interested in learning more about how therapy can help autistic adults improve communication and build meaningful relationships, schedule a consultation with me today. Let’s work together to create a path toward stronger, more fulfilling connections in your life.
Signs of Autistic Burnout: How to Know If You're Experiencing It
As a licensed psychologist specializing in working with autistic adults, I see so many clients struggling with autistic burnout. If you’ve been feeling completely drained, overwhelmed, or like even the simplest tasks take immense effort, you might be experiencing autistic burnout.
What is Autistic Burnout?
Autistic burnout is a state of intense mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged masking, sensory overload, and navigating a world that wasn’t built for autistic minds. Unlike general burnout, autistic burnout often comes with a deep sense of cognitive fatigue, increased sensory sensitivities, and difficulty with daily functioning. It can last for weeks, months, or even years if not properly addressed.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Autistic Burnout
🔹 Extreme Exhaustion – You feel physically and mentally wiped out, no matter how much you rest. Tasks that were once manageable now feel overwhelming.
🔹 Increased Sensory Sensitivities – Lights, sounds, and smells that you could tolerate before now feel unbearable. You might find yourself avoiding places or situations that didn’t previously bother you.
🔹 Difficulty with Communication – Speaking, texting, or even formulating thoughts feels harder than usual. Social interactions may feel exhausting rather than energizing.
🔹 Loss of Interest or Motivation – Hobbies and activities that once brought you joy now feel like a chore. You might feel detached or numb.
🔹 Increased Shutdowns or Meltdowns – You might find yourself withdrawing from the world more often, or experiencing more frequent emotional outbursts due to overstimulation.
🔹 Heightened Anxiety or Depression – Feelings of hopelessness, overwhelm, or irritability might be creeping in more than usual. You could be feeling isolated or disconnected from yourself.
What to Do Next
If these signs sound familiar, know that you are not alone. Autistic burnout is real, and recovery is possible. The key is to reduce demands, increase rest, and find ways to unmask in safe environments. Therapy can be a great place to explore these challenges and build a life that works with your brain, not against it.
If you’re curious about how therapy can help, I offer a free 15-minute intro call to discuss your needs and explore how we can work together. Click here to schedule your call today.
What to Expect During an Autism Evaluation
Seeking an autism evaluation as an adult can feel overwhelming, especially if you’ve spent years masking your traits to fit societal expectations. You might be wondering if it’s worth it, what the process will be like, or how to prepare. Here, I’ll walk you through the process with warmth and clarity, so you know what to expect every step of the way.
Why Should I Get an Autism Evaluation?
If you’ve spent years feeling “different” but never quite understanding why, an autism evaluation can provide the clarity you deserve. High-masking adults often receive feedback like, “But you don’t look autistic” or “You seem fine,” which can leave you second-guessing your own experiences. An evaluation is about understanding yourself on a deeper level—it’s not about proving anything to others.
Some benefits of an evaluation include:
Gaining validation for your experiences.
Accessing resources and accommodations that align with your needs.
Building self-compassion by connecting the dots of your life experiences.
Creating a roadmap for how to better support yourself moving forward.
What Happens During an Autism Evaluation?
An autism evaluation isn’t a one-size-fits-all process; it’s tailored to your unique experiences. Here’s a general overview of what you can expect:
Initial Interview: This is where we’ll get to know each other. I’ll ask about your background, childhood experiences, and current challenges. It’s a collaborative conversation—no need to have all the answers.
Standardized Assessments: These might include questionnaires or activities designed to assess traits commonly associated with autism. These tools help paint a fuller picture, but they’re just one part of the process.
Discussion of Observations: Throughout the evaluation, I’ll take note of patterns, strengths, and areas where you might benefit from support. This is all shared with you transparently.
Feedback Session: Once the evaluation is complete, we’ll meet to go over the results. I’ll explain my findings, answer your questions, and provide resources tailored to your needs.
This process is designed to feel like a conversation rather than a test. The goal is to understand your lived experiences, not to judge or label.
How Do I Prepare for an Autism Evaluation?
Preparing for an evaluation doesn’t require perfection or hours of study. Here are a few tips to help you feel ready:
Reflect on Your Experiences: Think about moments in your life where you’ve felt “different” or struggled with things others seem to navigate easily. Jotting these down can help organize your thoughts.
Gather Input: If possible, bring insights from a trusted friend or family member who knows you well. They might offer perspectives you hadn’t considered.
Be Honest: Masking might feel like second nature, but during the evaluation, it’s okay to let those walls down. Share openly about your inner world and experiences.
Bring Questions: If you’re unsure about anything, write down questions to ask during the session. This is your time to learn and advocate for yourself.
Remember, this isn’t about meeting a checklist of criteria—it’s about understanding your unique story.
Who Benefits Most from an Evaluation?
An autism evaluation can be transformative for:
Adults who have always felt “different” but don’t know why.
Individuals who struggle with sensory sensitivities, social dynamics, or burnout.
Those who have a family history of autism or traits and suspect they might share them.
High-masking individuals who’ve spent years adapting to fit in but feel exhausted by it.
If any of this resonates with you, an evaluation might be the next step toward greater self-awareness and empowerment.
You Deserve to Be Understood
Taking the step to pursue an autism evaluation can feel daunting, but it’s also an act of courage and self-care. Whether you’re seeking answers, validation, or a new way to understand yourself, know that you deserve to be heard and supported.
If you’re ready to begin this journey, I’m here to help. Let’s explore your experiences together and create a clearer path forward. Click here to schedule your free introductory call today.
Please note: I’m licensed to see clients located in AL, AZ, AR, CO, CT, DE, DC, FL, GA, ID, IL, IN, KS, KY, ME, MD, MI, MN, MS, MO, NE, NV, NH, NJ, NC, ND, OH, OK, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VA, VT, WA, WV, WI, or WY at the time of the evaluation.
Nobody Believes You When You Say That You Are Autistic
Nearly every time a client comes to me—whether it’s for therapy or an evaluation—I find that I wasn’t their first stop on their autism journey. More often than not, they’ve already taken that brave step of bringing up their thoughts about being autistic to someone else, typically a medical provider. Unfortunately, the interaction often goes something like this:
Client: I’ve been doing some research and think that I am autistic. Can you help point me in the right direction for resources?
Provider: laughs You need to get off TikTok. Everyone thinks they have something these days.
Client: I get that, but after looking at the criteria, it really pieces together a lot of the experiences I’ve been having.
Provider: You can’t be—you… (are married, make eye contact, have a job, can have a conversation, etc.).
End of conversation.
Sound familiar? For many, it does. This type of exchange leaves people feeling invalidated and questioning who—if anyone—is actually there to help them. Honestly, I can’t say I blame them for feeling this way.
Hearing stories like this frustrates me to no end. It’s not just about the time it takes for someone to finally find a provider who’ll listen; it’s about the toll this process takes on their self-esteem and sense of self. Being dismissed in this way often leads to imposter syndrome—that creeping self-doubt that makes them wonder if their struggles and feelings are even valid.
This is why I’ve made it my mission to listen—really listen—to my clients. I don’t make snap judgments based on someone’s outward appearance, accomplishments, or behaviors. Instead, I strive to understand their experiences, their story, and what brought them to this moment. Because here’s the thing: people know themselves better than anyone else. If they’ve been reflecting on their lives and feel that being autistic might explain their experiences, that deserves to be heard and explored—not dismissed.
If you’re interested in booking an evaluation with a provider who will listen and work to understand your experiences—rather than laughing at or invalidating them—I’d love to connect.
Please note: I’m licensed to see clients located in AL, AZ, AR, CO, CT, DE, DC, FL, GA, ID, IL, IN, KS, KY, ME, MD, MI, MN, MS, MO, NE, NV, NH, NJ, NC, ND, OH, OK, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VA, VT, WA, WV, WI, or WY at the time of the evaluation.